August 20, 2002  

WISDOM FROM A YOUNG MURDERER

Sixteen-year-old Charles "Andy" Williams has had over a year now to think about his outburst of violence at Santana High School that left two fellow-students dead and thirteen others wounded. Interviewed by the San Diego Union - Tribune after his sentencing to 50-years-to-life, Andy said some things that all of us can learn from:

* Before the shooting, Andy felt isolated and alone. He was evidently a target for bullying and teasing. The feelings built up "like a cup filling up inside me." Finally, he exploded.

All of us know about loneliness, emotional distress and building inner pressure. If our "explosions" are not as harmful to others as his was, we still identify with the feelings.

* Teenagers' brains are not fully formed, scientists tell us. This makes them incapable of adult judgment. Yet, they have the power to drive cars, pull triggers, and make babies—any of which can dramatically affect the rest of their lives.

We have a great responsibility as parents to guide our teenagers even when they want to reject our guidance. And teenagers have a responsibility to listen, for their own good. Through our youth group, we have the opportunity to impact the lives of many teens whose judgment is still pre-adolescent. Pray.

* Finally, Andy takes full responsibility for his actions: "The school didn't put the gun in my hand. I don't want to blame anybody." If he really means it, he is ready for God's grace, as awful as his crimes have been.

We try to dodge responsibility, being angry at our parents, our bosses and "bad breaks" (which is a polite way of being angry at God). Until we say, "It's me, O Lord, standing in the need of prayer," our prayers are hollow. Don't pray for God to fix others, or your situation; ask him to fix you.

* Forgiveness is offered to everyone who repents. Sometimes we feel resentful that God would forgive a person who, we believe, has done something too awful to be forgiven. But Andy shows that he believes in God's forgiveness by the fact that he has read 159 books and carries a GPA of 3.09 in his high school studies. He still believes that his mind is worth training and that there is some sort of future to prepare for.

It interested me that, according to the paper, "he hopes to get a college degree in theology and become a pastor in prison." Apparently, he has been exposed to the truth and responded to God's forgiving love. Now he wants to pass it on to others. God is arming him with something more effective than bullets.

* There was a wonderful footnote in the newspaper article. Apparently, many people have been sending Andy letters and e-mails, encouraging him and helping him to believe in his future. He said, "Their heart is in the right place, but I don't think I deserve it. I wouldn't write to me."

But there are many people out there who identify with Andy's confusion, rage and loneliness; who know "There, but for the grace of God, go I." And they've taken the time to reach out. Such people have been used by God as agents of forgiveness and restoration.

We're all struggling and imperfect human beings. Hopefully, we don't take it out on others, at least as destructively as Andy did. As fellow-travelers through a difficult world, let's pay more attention to the psychic and spiritual pain of those around us and take every opportunity to say a word of hope and forgiveness. It may keep someone from going over the edge, or it may help someone climb back after already falling over the edge.

–Pastor George VanAlstine