Messenger articles come to me in a variety of ways, but they always seem to materialize before the time on Wednesday that Administrative Assistant Jill plans to send them out.  This week was closer than usual.

I began work on one idea, then a second and a third, discarding them all.  Late Tuesday afternoon, I realized my cupboard was completely bare.  So I browsed around in other people’s cupboards, looking through some books that have been in obscure corners of my bookshelves for years.  And finally I found a bone: a book given to me years ago by the Jackson family who used to worship at ABC, Church Signs Across America, by Steve and Pam Paulson (2006, The Overlook Press, New York).

Here’s how some churches put their best (or cleverest) face forward on signs:

“CH  CH  —  WHAT’S MISSING?  UR”

Messiah Lutheran Church, Joliet, IL

“THE ABILITY TO LIE IS A LIABILITY”

Our Saviors Community, Palm Springs, CA

“DON’T GIVE UP! MOSES WAS ONCE A BASKET CASE!”

First Covenant Church, Denver, CO

BE YOURSELF. EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN.

Bethel Assembly of God, Burlington, CO

“LET’S MEET AT MY HOUSE SUNDAY BEFORE THE GAME. -GOD”

Christ Lutheran Church, Cape Coral, FL

“SEVEN DAYS WITHOUT PRAYER MAKES ONE WEAK”

Liberty Lighthouse, Mount Dora, FL

“IT WASN’T THE APPLE, IT WAS THE PAIR”

First Baptist Church, Arcadia, FL

“LORD, KEEP YOUR ARM AROUND MY SHOULDERS, AND YOUR HAND ACROSS MY MOUTH”

Christian Heritage, Zolfo Springs, FL

“SIGN BROKEN – MESSAGE INSIDE THIS SUNDAY”

First Baptist Church, Helena, MT

“LOOKING FOR A SIGN FROM GOD? THIS MIGHT BE IT!”

Grace Lutheran Church, North Arlington, NJ

“WHENEVER A MAN IS READY TO UNCOVER HIS SINS, GOD IS READY TO COVER THEM.”

Charlotte, NC

“EXPERIENCE IS SOMETHING YOU DON’T GET UNTIL JUST AFTER YOU NEED IT”

Forest Hill Christian Church, Oklahoma City OK

WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, THERE IS MORE SAID THAN DONE”

Fellowship Church, Antioch, TN

Finally, I don’t know where these were posted, but I can’t resist adding them:

ADAM BLAMED EVE. THEN EVE BLAMED THE SNAKE. THE SNAKE DIDN’T HAVE A LEG TO STAND ON.”

“THE PEACEMAKING MEETING TODAY HAS BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO A CONFLICT”

“THE LOW SELF-ESTEEM SUPPORT GROUP MEETS THURSDAY. PLEASE USE THE BACK DOOR.”

— Pastor George Van Alstine